BAWWWWWWWWWWWWAnyway, yes. The essence of this is that people suck.
And I would like the people to listen up for once, hmm? You brats know who you are.
Here you go, folks, the cold, hard truth: I'm sick of doing everything for you. I'm sick of listening to every little problem that you have and being expected to SOLVE it for you. I'm sick of being treated like your verbal punching bag to unload on when you're in an unpleasant mood. I'm sick of having to always entertain you. I'm sick of not being able to tell anyone how I feel without being made out to be guilty of some horrible crime. I'm sick of being nice because all you little bastards do is slap me in the face for my trouble. I'm sick of all these one-sided 'friendships'.
I'm sick of all of you, and I swear I will dance on your graves when you meet them. I hate you. And I'm sure you are aware of how difficult it is to make me hate someone.
In truth, I like being nice to people. I honestly do, otherwise I wouldn't have taken all of your trash for however many years it's been. But even I have my limits, and you folks just keep pushing them, and I do believe I've finally snapped. Very well, too--I was always too much of a wuss anyway. Now I'm simply tired of it all and I'm not having any of it anymore.
Got a problem? Get a god damned psychiatrist. I try to help you, but you make up excuses to void my suggestions and prolong your drama. Go pay some guy four hundred dollars and see if you don't listen to HIM. I'm trying to fix everything for free and you just treat my words like they're nothing. So shut up, leave me alone, and find some other poor son-of-a-bitch to whine to, because this one is going to rip you apart the next time you try.
Stop using me. I'm only human. I'm not a great, big, emotionless pool of wisdom and solutions like you all appear to believe I am. I'm a person, too. I have a life, too. I have problems, too. And heaven knows I have enough without all of yours. Not that you'd know, of course. You don't know squat about me because you're always too busy crying all over me about stupid things or things you don't WANT to fix.
So, you know what? Leave me alone. Leave me the bloody hell alone. I don't need legions of friends who use me and can't even thank me for my trouble. I do this for you out of the goodness of my heart, and what do I get? I'm not asking you to help me out. A thank you and a bit of acknowledgement for my trouble would be awfully nice, though. Maybe occasionally listening to what I have to say, too. And cutting me a bit of slack. I'm not perfect. No one is. Is that really all I'm worth to you? I insult you without even knowing it and you decide you hate me after all the hell I've gone through for YOU and no one else? I don't get any benefit from what I do for you. But it seems you are too selfish to be able to see that.
I'm tired, folks. I'm as young as I am, and I'm tired. I feel like I've lived out a hundred lifetimes, but none of them are mine. I'm tired.
I have more of a reason to emo than you do, when it all comes down to it. Remember that, you filthy brutes. Remember that before you try to tell me how awful your life is because you have a great family that's looking out for you. Remember that before you--dare I even SAY it?--whine about how other people dump their problems on YOU.
I could keep going for much longer than this, but I think I've made my point. I don't want to hear about your trivial problems anymore. I get on the internet to escape the real world, not to sit there all day long listening to you talk and talk and talk about yourself and things you like or dislike. You've made it that I need a retreat from my retreat simply because I have enough of a heart to care about random strangers, unlike you. You don't seem like you have any shred of a heart at all, most of you.
I'm sorry I ever did a thing for any of you. There is nothing, nothing, that I regret more.
And don't you dare reply to this or otherwise communicate with me going 'OMG AM I LIEK DAT?????/' It was hard enough for me to say what I feel. I don't think I'd be able to reply in an affirmative to a question like that, no matter how much I may want to, because it still stands that I am too nice for my own good. And if I say 'no', which I inevitably would, you'd keep going for another four bloody years, thinking everything was fine and dandy in spite of everything I just said.
The end. I hope some of that went into your thick skulls. If not, you're at fault if you experience confusion when I get pissed off at you.
Devious Comments
Usually when people come to me, it's over trivial teenage matters or problems that they brought onto themselves. Meanwhile I sit there facing far worse things in real life when all they can do is rant about losing an alt on Furcadia or breaking up with a 2-week internet boyfriend. I'm expected to constantly be there and constantly say or do the right thing at the right time. Do people think I'm god? Flattering, but not at all true.
I too am victim to people trying to use me. Several people use me as a 'last resort friend' when their abrasive personalities have pushed everyone else away and I'm the only person who would bother to hear them out. But then, of course, once they're reaccepted into their cliques, I am forgotten instantly.
I have also been stabbed in the back/face numerous times, perhaps even by some of the people you refer to here in this journal. It seems that for every good deed I do, there is an equal punishment.
So, basically, while I cannot lift your situation or mood, I can let you know that you aren't alone.
Most people I know with more than half a brain don't take this kind of crap, but when someone comes along who does, these little teenage assholes think they're entitled to benefiting from their smarts. No, not even smarts--common SENSE. Most people these days don't have it and seem to like using people who do. And when they're not using them they forget them entirely. Heh, at least someone else knows how that feels, too.
Thanks for letting me know. It does make me a feel a bit better that someone actually understands, because God knows that the little dumbasses I deal with on a regular basis most certainly don't.
--
Go hide with laughter thy tears and thy sorrow,
Laugh and be merry, playing thy part,
Laugh, Punchinello, for the joy that is ended,
Laugh for the pain that is breaking thy heart.
You've needed a good rage-dump for a while now. 8C I hope you feel better for it. Hopefully CREEPY STALKERS will stop fantasizing about meeting and marrying you, too. And drawing SCARY NUDEY PICTURES.
I'm sorry people put you through that. Much of the time, though, they don't realize they're being a nuisance.
Hugs for you.
--
Your love is an addiction~
--
"Now these points of data
make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time..."
--
"You look like a deranged, screwed up mess that was the result of some experimental explosions in a laboratory."
A quote from ~ProfessorMorgus when Stigma said he looked like an old man.
I know how you feel, love. Stress and people have been getting to me as of late too. But sometimes, we just have to let it out or else explode. It's just part of life. I'm also, as AgentMoore said, feeling like an anchor too as of late.
But you're definitely not alone, sweetie. You know that if you ever need an ear to listen to and a person who will gnaw on faces, I'm there for you, lovey.
--
Vae Victus.
-----------------------
Mistress of the Mysterious Fangirl Closet of Infinite Holding.
I'm enlisted in the Davy Navy!
I'm sorry teenagers are such bastards...and I'm legit to say that because I am one.
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